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06-Oct-2016 04:55

I learned to keep quiet about my dating adventures and largely ignored the so-called ‘advice’, but I soon realised that meeting new men isn’t quite the wall-to-wall fun I’d imagined.

What became immediately clear is that lots of people my age are like Tom – old before their time and acting like we’ve been married for 30 years.

I’m not sure what a man is his late 30s was expecting, but I sincerely doubt he’s found it yet.

Then there was the guy who wouldn’t accept that I’m only free every other weekend and wanted to come round to my house once my son was asleep.

Another man I dated for a few months got annoyed that I couldn’t spontaneously go to London for a long weekend because I had Josh.

Sorry, but weekends away for me require months of notice and military-style planning.

I once crammed four dates with different men into two days, but as my ability to pick interesting and nice men online seemed to be rather lacking, having four bad dates in two days was just too depressing to repeat. But I still think I deserve someone really special.

Then there is simply my lack of free time – my son goes to stay with his dad every other weekend, so I have precisely 48 hours a fortnight to have fun. In truth, I doubt we’re even seen as a great catch and imagine lots of people think I should just settle for whoever I’m lucky enough to get.Their negativity was surprising and quite upsetting at times. One friend suggested I should just focus on being by myself, while a particularly charming family member questioned why being a mother wasn’t ‘enough for me’.



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